Potter Bewitched
by Kenny0208
Summary: Harry and the Dursleys are in for a surprise when one of Vernon's relatives brings his wife, Samantha, to dinner.
1. Chapter 1

I know, I'm terrible. This makes my eighth story. But this time I promise not to start another until at least one of my other stories is threw, lol.

* * *

_**Dinner Plans**_

Vernon Dursley walked into his office holding a bag from the bakery across the street. He sat down and tore greedily into the bag. Before he could take a bite out of his bun, however, the phone on his desk rang.

Growling in frustration at being interrupted during his snack, he picked up the phone, "What is it?"

"You have a call, Mr. Dursley," said the nervous voice of his secretary, "It's a Darrin Stevens."

"I don't know a Darrin Stevens!" Vernon yelled into the phone.

"He says he's your cousin."

There was a pause and then, "What could he possibly want? Patch him through."

"Hello, Vernon it's Darrin," said the voice on the other end when he was connected.

"Stevens, old boy, how have you been?" asked Vernon in a false jovial tone. He really wasn't interested but he wanted to keep up appearances.

"I'm fine. My wife and I are in London."

"Oh, yes, I heard you got married a few years ago. What was her name, Sarah?"

"Samantha. I was hoping that we could all get together while we're here."

"Oh, erm," Vernon didn't want to say yes, but couldn't refuse without offending the man. So for the sake of being sociable, he said, "Why don't you come to dinner tonight?"

"We'd love that. Do you still live on Privet Drive?"

"Yes, we do. Say you both come over around six."

"That'll be excellent."

"Good, good, see you then." Vernon slammed the phone down and returned to his bun.

"He invited us to dinner," said Darrin, putting the phone down.

"Oh, _wonderful_, I can't wait to meet your cousin and his family," said Samantha as she was unpacking clothes and putting them in the dressers in the motel room.

"I doubt it'll be as enjoyable as you'd think. He and I never got along very well."

"Why's that?" asked Sam with a frown.

"He's was kind of spoiled, and a bully."

"Then why do you want to see him now?" Samantha closed the suitcase and slipped it under the bed.

"Mostly it's family obligation. Anyway I haven't seen him in years; he might have changed."

"That's true," Samantha replied, sitting down on the bed.

"There's one more thing that I should let you know."

"What's that, darling?"

Darrin pulled up a chair from the small table in the room and moved it so that he could sit across from Samantha. "Vernon, well, he's always been- how should I put this? He's kind of a small-minded person."

"Whatever do you mean by that?" asked Samantha, patiently.

"If he's not familiar with something or used to it, he tends to react negatively, especially if he considers it out of the ordinary."

"Kind of like someone else we know?" said Samantha pointedly. Darrin glared at her.

"Okay, okay, so you want me to refrain from using any of my…" she waved her hand dramatically, "tricks?"

"Exactly," said Darrin, relieved that he got his point across.

"I'll be on my best behavior," said Samantha.

"Good," said Darrin. He checked his watch, "I've got to go meet my client now. Do you think that you can keep yourself occupied while I'm gone?"

"I'll think of something. Bye, darling," she stood up and kissed her husband goodbye.

"Bye," he grabbed his briefcase and walked out the door.

As soon as Darrin was out the door, there was a sound of thunder and Samantha turned around to see billowing green smoke.

"Mother," said Samantha when the smoke cleared.

"I see Dustbin left you hear all alone for the day," said Endora, lifting her long purple gown to sit on the bed.

"After five years, you should know that his name is Darrin, mother. And he has a meeting with a client. He can't skip out on work just to spend time with me."

"Oh, pfft," said Endora in annoyance, "I don't see why these humans waste all their time on such mundane things like _work_ and _careers_. There are so many more productive things that they could be doing."

"Oh, mother," said Samantha. She'd had this discussion a million times with her mother before she realized there was no point explaining it to her. "Since you're here and I've got the whole day before Darrin comes back, why don't we go sight-seeing and have lunch?"

"I suppose we might as well," said Endora. She stood up and made a gesture with her arms, causing her clothes to change from her purple and green outfit into a brown dress with a fur coat.

"Let me get my purse," Samantha picked up her handbag before raising her arms and disappearing, followed by Endora, leaving an empty motel room.


	2. Meeting the Dursleys, and Harry

**Meeting the Dursleys, and Harry**

"Duddy, why don't you go comb you hair so that you look sharp for your father's cousin?" Petunia said from as she finished basting the roast pork loin in the oven. When she didn't get a response she called toward the living room, "Duddy?"

"Oh, let him be Petunia," said Marge, sipping from her second glass of wine. "His hair looks fine. And there's really no reason to impress Darrin, believe me."

"Why do you say that?"

"Just look at who he married, some Yankee woman that no one's heard of. She's probably after his money. He was never a bright one, Darrin."

Harry walked through the front door and rolled his eyes as he heard the two women gossip in the kitchen. He had been doing yard work outside. Uncle Vernon, always eager to impress even people he didn't particularly care for, wanted everything perfect for the Stephens.

"Boy!" He looked to the stairs to see his uncle coming down. Harry approached him, frowning.

"Have you finished your chores?" Harry nodded.

"Very well. You will be eating in the dining room with us tonight. I want to keep an eye on you, so that there will be no repeat of last year."

"Yes, sir," said Harry gloomily.

"During dinner, you will be silent. I don't even want to know that you're there. If you are spoken to, you will be respectful and keep your answers brief. After dinner, you will sit at the end of the couch, out of the way, until either your aunt or I dismiss you to your room. Is that understood?"

"Yes, Uncle Vernon."

"If you know what's good for you, there'll be no…"

"Magic?"

"Don't say it!" Uncle Vernon roared. "If anything goes wrong, I'll rip that form to shreds and you won't be allowed to visit that Hogswallop village."

"Yes, sir," Harry said, clenching his jaw to keep from snapping back a retort.

"Good, now get upstairs and change. And for God's sake, _comb your hair!_"

* * *

At ten till six, the taxi turned onto Privet Drive with Darrin and Samantha in the back seat. Samantha was wearing a knee-length pink dress with a matching wrap. Darrin chose his usual blue suit, and was holding a bag of toffee and a bottle of wine.

"It's kind of a bland neighborhood, don't you think?" Samantha said quietly, looking out the window at all of the identical houses with the same manicured lawns and polished cars.

"Verne never did have much imagination," Darrin replied.

"Here it is, number 4," said the cab driver, pulling over outside the house. Darrin and Samantha climbed out of the back seat. Samantha smoothed her dress while Darrin paid the cab driver.

"Thank you," they both said before he drove away and they turned to walk up to the door.

* * *

"Darrin, how wonderful it is to see you," said Vernon when he opened the door.

"It's good to see you too, Vernon. We brought this for tonight," he handed Vernon the wine.

"Most thoughtful of you," said Vernon. He then noticed the pretty blonde woman standing next to him. "You must be Selena?"

"Samantha," she said politely as she shook his hand.

"It's a pleasure to meet you. Won't you both come join us in the living room?"

They followed him into the living room where Marge and Petunia were posing with false smiles on their faces and Dudley was transfixed by the television.

"Darrin, Samantha, welcome to our home," said Petunia.

"Thank you so much for having us," said Samantha.

"Darrin," said Marge, eyeing her cousin, "You're too skinny. Does she not feed you enough?" she asked critically.

Before Samantha could say anything, Darrin spoke up, "Actually, Marge, Samantha feeds me plenty. She's a very good cook." Samantha smiled at her husband.

Marge replaced her fake smile and turned to Samantha, "It's wonderful to finally meet you deary."

"Likewise, I'm always happy to meet Darrin's family," said Samantha, flashing a genuine smile.

"And this must be Dudley," said Darrin, "This is for you," he held out the bag of toffee. Dudley eyed it hungrily for a moment before he snatched up the bag.

"What do you say, Diddykins?" said Petunia.

"Fanku misser Seevens," said Dudley, his mouth already full of toffee. Samantha resisted the urge to grimace in distaste.

"That was very kind of you, Darrin," said Petunia.

"Don't mention it. They're from a popular candy company owned by my new client, Albert Walker. You've probably heard of him. He wants to bring his candy to the states."

"Isn't that interesting?" said Vernon, though he secretly detested the thought of one of 'their' candies going to a bunch of Yankees.

"Aunt Petunia," the Stephens turned to see a young, skinny boy with black hair and glasses. "The roast is almost ready."

Petunia glared at him for a second before she smiled and said, "I'll be back in a moment."

Darrin and Samantha waited a moment until it became clear that no one was going to introduce the boy. "What's your name?" asked Samantha kindly.

"Harry," he said, though he glanced at Vernon as if asking permission.

"We didn't know you had two boys, Vernon," said Darrin.

"He's not ours. He's Petunia's sister's son, orphaned."

"Oh, I'm so sorry," said Samantha. Harry didn't say anything. "It's a good thing we happened to bring an extra bag of candy." She twitched her nose and pulled out another bag from under her shawl.

Harry looked at it in slight confusion when she held it out for him. "Thank you."

Samantha smiled at him.

Vernon cleared his throat and said, "Well, dinner should be done any moment. Why don't we head into the dining room?"

"That would be lovely," said Samantha, and they followed him out of the living room. Though Darrin's family seemed nice enough, Samantha was finding it difficult to form an opinion about them. At least all of them except Harry.

* * *

***AN***

Sorry for the wait. My new job has been keeping me pretty busy. Hope you all enjoy this. Tell me what you think.


	3. Dinner with the Dursleys

_**Dinner with the Dursleys**_

Dinner for the most part went along smoothly. Samantha sat across from Marge; Darrin was across from Dudley, who was sneaking toffees and watching the small television his parents bought for him. Vernon and Petunia were at either end of the table and Harry was on a bar stool at the kitchen counter. Vernon and Marge were polishing off the wine and brandy.

"It must be very interesting working in the advertising business, Darrin," Petunia said, making polite small talk.

"It certainly is, Petunia. I enjoy it quite a bit," Darrin replied.

"Darrin's really a fine artist. You should see some of the ads he's been drawing up for the Walker Toffee campaign," said Samantha, smiling proudly at her husband.

"And what do you do with your time, Samantha?" asked Petunia, feigning interest.

"Oh, I'm a full-time homemaker," said Samantha politely.

"That's surprising," said Marge, pausing to belch lightly into her hand. "Most of these young American women nowadays are all trying to go out and make _careers_." She leaned over and let her dog, Ripper drink from her wine glass. Petunia whimpered as the contents of the glass, mingled with dog drool, sloshed all over her clean floor.

"What did you do before you met Darrin, dear?" asked Marge.

"I used to do a lot of traveling."

"Humph!" Samantha turned to Vernon.

"Excuse me?"

"You're one of those liberal types. Off doing God knows what when you should be in the home. I hope Darrin got that stamped out of you."

Samantha stared incredulously at him for a moment, and then decided to ignore his rude comment.

"Why don't you all come and see us in the states some time, when the boys don't have school, of course?" she asked.

"Oh- I'm sure that'd be lovely. If we could make the time, Vernon gets so busy at work."

Darrin cleared his throat, "Beside do you really think it'd be appropriate with the constant visits from your mother?" he asked pointedly.

"Oh, Darrin she's not over that often." She waved him off. "Besides, I'd like to get to know my nephews better."

"Nephews?" asked Petunia.

"Why yes, one way or another we're all family. I'd like for us all to be close."

"I guess you're right," said Petunia. They sat in awkward silence for a few moments after that.

"Some family," Samantha looked up above Marge's head to see her mother floating there.

She looked around to make sure no one else saw. Then she waved at her, mouthing "_Go away!_"

"Are you alright, dear?" asked Marge, looking at her strangely.

"There was a fly," Samantha chuckled and went back to her plate.

Endora cackled, silently to mortal ears, before popping back out.

"Duddy, why don't you tell your aunt and uncle what you've been up to in school this year," said Petunia.

Dudley didn't answer right away. He was too busy shoveling pudding in his mouth to pay them any attention. Petunia smiled fondly.

"They grow up so fast."

"Yes, you almost- hate to see it," said Samantha, watching in slight disgust.

"You may need to slow him down, Samantha," Endora reappeared across the counter from an unknowing Harry. "You wouldn't want him accidentally swallowing his fork."

She was ignored, "What about you, Harry? Do you enjoy school?"

Harry looked up, surprised that he was being acknowledged. Before he could answer, though, Vernon spoke up again.

"You don't want to hear about his school."

"Yes, I believe I do," said Samantha with a placid smile.

"Mmm," said Marge, taking another gulp, "Where is it you send the boy again, Vernon?"

"St. Brutus', it's an institute for criminal adolescents."

"Criminal?!" said Endora, staring the boy down. "Why I'll bet there's not a criminal bone in his entire body!" She popped out and then back in just behind Vernon, probably to observe him better.

"I hope they're beating him regularly. You can't be soft with these delinquent types." Said Marge. Samantha looked over to see Harry clutching his fork, his face set in thinly veiled anger. "you should call and tell them that you don't mind a few extra whacks with the cane, to get the message across."

_Alright they've both had enough,_ Samantha thought to herself. She wiggled her nose, and the alcohol in the larger two adults' glasses began draining away to nothing. Vernon looked at his in confusion when he tried to sip from it.

"Excuse me, but what has he done to be labeled a delinquent?" asked Darrin.

"Oh, I always used to get calls when he was in primary school," said Petunia. "He caused disturbances with the other children. He climbed on the roof once. The neighborhood children are terrified of him."

"And it's rubbing off on poor Dudley," she continued, "No one wants to come around him because his cousin is such a freak."

"Sure, it's all my fault," Harry's voice dripped with sarcasm, "It's got absolutely nothing to do with the fact that he's a big bully!'

"You watch your mouth boy!" Marge yelled. "I'll not have you spreading lies about my nephew!" She patted Dudley on the back. He barely noticed as he was still eating his pudding.

Harry was glaring daggers at her, but he didn't say another word.

"He gets it from his parents. They were freaks too," said Vernon.

"I believe you. I see it all the time in my dogs if there's something wrong with its mother, then the pup won't be right either. I'd hate to have known his parents, as bad as he is."

"Shut up about my parents," said Harry. He was standing now. Petunia was trying to keep calm as the situation was becoming more and more tense.

"DON'T TALK TO YOUR AUNT IN THAT TONE!" Vernon bellowed, startling Endora slightly. She raised her arm for a spell in retaliation, but a look from Samantha made her stop, though she stuck out her tongue.

"With all due respect, it really isn't appropriate to speak ill of his parents in front of him," said Samantha, keeping her temper, though barely.

"How else is he going to learn how much better off he is here if he doesn't know what swine his parents were?" Marge set her glass down hard.

"You never even met my parents!" Harry yelled, his eyes watering in anger.

"I don't need to, boy! Your parents were low down good-for-nothings with no good excuse for living! Worst of all they didn't take you with them when they died in that car crash!" Harry was shaking in rage.

"Now that's uncalled for, Marge!" Darrin stood up, throwing down his napkin. Marge ignored him.

Vernon stood up too, the vein in his forehead throbbing. "It's time you went to bed. Get upstairs before I beat you within an inch of your life!"

Samantha wasn't expecting what happened next. The dinner table began shaking. Everyone looked at it in surprise.

"My stars!" said Samantha. Then the table flipped. The dishes and the pudding scattered across the floor.

Petunia shrieked as it smacked into Vernon, sending him to the floor.

"Vernon!" yelled Marge.

"Samantha!" yelled Darrin.

"Mother!" Samantha said out loud.

"It wasn't _my_ doing," said Endora, watching amusedly as Vernon tried to crawl out from beneath the table.

Vernon threw the table off, cracking its legs. The bits of his face that weren't covered in pudding were a livid purple color. He growled, staring at Harry. The young boy suddenly looked frightened.

"You!" He lunged at Harry. The beefy fingers of his right hand went around Harry's throat, squeezing hard. He brought his left fist down across the boy's face.

"Get off!" Darrin yelled, trying to pull the great beast off of the boy. He got an elbow to his gut for his trouble.

"I've had enough of your freakishness!" Vernon spat out as Harry's eyes began to close from lack of air.

Suddenly, he felt some unseen force compelling him to let go. His hands shook with the effort to hold on, but it was in vain. Harry took the chance to crawl backward, away from the much larger man. Vernon was then lifted off of the floor, and thrown across the room, where his back slammed against the wall.

Samantha walked up to him, her arm still raised. "Don't you _ever_ touch him again!"

****Author's Note****

Sorry this took so long. I wasn't sure how to get this chapter out. I also wasn't sure where to go with this story after but now I've got a pretty good idea. I hope everyone likes this. I'm also working on a cover image for this story.


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